Ruin Me Read online

  After another hour of swimming, Lacy announced that we would be playing a classic game of “Truth or Dare.” Taylor, Ryan, and I protested, but she refused to go down without a fight. Finally, we relented. We took our seats in the movie room after we changed into a fresh pair of clothes. Ryan pulled me onto his lap as he pressed his lips against my neck. My head swam as he left a trail of kisses.

  “Alright, there are rules to this game.” Lacy began. “If you opt out of telling the truth, or completing the dare, you will be required to take three consecutive shots. If you feel uncomfortable with a question or a dare, the other three players will take a vote on if you are exempt from completing said question or dare. That’s pretty much it. Who wants to go first?” She asked as she dispersed another round of drinks. We ran out of V8 and were now mixing the vodka with cherry Sprite. I took a long drink, thankful for the welcoming carbonation. “Fine, I’ll pick. Ryan, truth or dare?”

  Ryan took a long drink before shouting out, “Fuck it. Dare.”

  “Alright. I dare you to send an ass picture to your ex-girlfriend.” His jaw dropped in horror. “It’s Gabby, right?” He slowly nodded his head, looking at me for approval.

  “Do it, babe.” I kissed him on the cheek in attempt to show my support. He groaned in disgust as he fished his cellphone out of his pocket.

  Lacy squealed as she clapped her hands together. “Drop them drawers, baby.” He handed her the phone and did as she asked. Lacy quickly snapped a picture before sending it to Gabby. Satisfied, she handed him back his phone. “Alright Ryan, it’s your turn to pick someone.”

  “Taylor,” he began. “Truth or dare?” I bit my bottom lip, nervous for an unexplainable reason.

  “Dare.” Lacy clapped her hands together again before taking another long drink. “Slow down, baby. I’d like for you to be somewhat coherent for later.” She slapped his arm before planting a wet, sloppy kiss on his cheek.

  “I dare you to finish that bottle of vodka.” Lacy grabbed the bottle, eyeing it before handing it to him. It was nearly full.

  “We’ll still have another bottle left for the rest of us,” Lacy reassured. “You gonna do it baby?” Taylor spun the cap off of the bottle before bringing it to his lips. He winked at Lacy before swallowing the contents in less than a minute. We sat there in utter shock as he finished the last drop.

  “Fuck yeah. Hayley, truth or dare?” His eyes hung lazily as he leaned against Lacy for support. I was astounded that he was still coherent. “Don’t worry, Lace. I’ll be nice.” Revulsion laced his words.

  “Truth.”

  “Of fucking course,” he sneered. Lacy smacked his shoulder as he pondered over what question to ask me. “Are you a virgin?” Ryan’s body went rigid against mine.

  “Yes.”

  “Take three drinks, baby.” He handed me the last bottle of vodka and unscrewed that cap. I stared at him blankly. “There’s no way you’re a virgin. Take a drink.” I looked at Lacy for support, but she was looking at me expectantly.

  “Guys, I’m serious. Tell them, Ryan.” He shifted uncomfortably and shrugged his shoulders.

  “I mean, we’ve never had sex.” I smacked my hand against my forehead. “I’m pretty sure you’re a virgin, unless you’re cheating on me,” he joked. Taylor’s eyebrows shot up as if he were about to speak. I shot daggers through his soul, willing him to keep his mouth shut. He winked at me before leaning against Lacy again.

  “Lacy, truth or dare?”

  “Dare, of course.”

  I wanted to dare her to go through Taylor’s phone. He was too confident; I knew there would be something incriminating hidden behind his screen. Regardless of my hatred for him, I knew that I needed to be careful around him. He knew too much.

  “Taylor, turn the lights off. Lacy, you have to spin around three times. Whoever you touch first, you have to kiss for thirty seconds.” Taylor shook his head back and forth. “I’m sorry Taylor, it’s not your turn. Lacy, do you want us to vote? Are you uncomfortable?”

  “Fuck that.” She slurred. “Baby, turn the lights off.” Taylor grunted before flipping the switch. We were instantly consumed with darkness. “Everyone, close your eyes!” Lacy shouted. She spun around three times before stumbling against someone. After thirty seconds, Taylor’s alarm went off. I hopped up and flipped the light switch on, shocked to find Ryan and Lacy’s lips intertwined.

  “Times up!” Taylor shouted as he ripped Ryan away from Lacy. I watched as their faces turned bright red.

  “Hayley, truth or dare?” Lacy asked me.

  “Dare.” I was feeling rebellious.

  I took a drink as Lacy said, “I dare you to text Mr. Foster and tell him to come over.” Cherry Sprite and vodka came spewing out of my nose, spraying everyone in the room. Lacy doubled over in laughter, clutching her stomach as she howled.

  “Who is Mr. Foster?” Taylor asked. No. No. No. He was going to put the pieces of the puzzle together. The last thing I needed was for Taylor to put a face to the name.

  “Oh my gosh, baby. He’s a teacher at our school, but he’s also Hayley’s boss. He’s so fucking hot, you wouldn’t believe it. And Hayley totally has a crush on him, even if she won’t admit it.” I shot her a dirty look, shaking my head back and forth. “Oh please, Hay. It’s not like everyone else doesn’t have a crush on him, too. He’s fucking gorgeous.” She dug around in her pocket before pulling out her cell phone. She swiped through her photos before landing on his yearbook picture. She held it to Taylor’s face as I watched the pieces finally click together in his head. Taylor raised an eyebrow in my direction before nodding his head.

  “Pass.” I quickly grabbed the bottle and took three large gulps. Lacy pouted and ripped the bottle out of my hand.

  “You’re no fun,” she whined. “Please?” I shook my head again. “Ugh, fine. I’m bored anyway. Let’s watch a movie.” Ryan and I took our place on top of the Love Sac, cuddling underneath the blanket. Lacy dimmed the lights before picking an old school horror movie. She leaned down to kiss my forehead before whispering, “Thanks for being so nice to him tonight.” I winked at her before resting my head on Ryan’s shoulder.

  We spent the entire duration of the movie with our tongue down each other’s throat, passing out just as the end credits rolled on the screen.

  Twenty-Nine

  Hayley

  I invited Ryan over for my family’s Christmas Eve dinner. My mother was ecstatic that I was formally introducing him to the family, rather than running upstairs the moment we arrived. Lacy, after hours of begging, brought Taylor, too. Ryan introduced himself to my aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I could feel my face becoming red as he referred to himself as my “boyfriend.”

  “He’s a cutie,” my aunt Christina purred. I smiled and tucked a piece of my curled hair behind my ear. We had been spending countless hours together during Christmas break, but I still couldn’t get Nick out of my mind.

  “You look beautiful,” Ryan whispered in my ear. I thanked him and wrapped my arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his lips. He looked quite handsome himself; I had never seen him wear anything formal before. He was wearing a nice pair of black slacks, a light blue dress shirt and a silver tie. I could tell he wanted to impress my father.

  Once dinner began, my overly large family took their seats. Chatter filled the room and the invasive questions began. How long had Ryan and I been dating? What college did I plan on attending? Had I found a job yet? How was living with my best friend? After I answered the plethora of questions, they turned their attention to Lacy, then Taylor, and then Ryan. My father began asking him every question possible, bringing up sports, academics, religion, morals, etc. My aunts and uncles chimed in here and there, complimenting him on his football skills and whatnot.

  To my dismay, my mind drifted once again. Mr. Foster was more than likely sitting around a table with his family, too. I secretly wished that it were him instead of Ryan tonight. I hated feeling this way; knowing that I was thinking a
bout him while he was most likely thinking about a billion things that had nothing to do with me.

  After dinner, my family continued to socialize over dessert and television. I needed time away from the crowd. Lacy grabbed Taylor, Ryan and I and led us upstairs. She smiled slyly and claimed she had a Christmas surprise of her own. Once we were inside her bedroom, we all stood awkwardly and waited for Lacy to give us whatever she was hiding. She looked around the room before cautiously pulling a small baggy out of her back pocket. I cocked my head to the side, confused.

  “Holy shit, Lacy!” Taylor shouted before snatching the bag away from her. “Where’d you get this?” She began giggling and batted her long eyelashes. “Seriously babe, aren’t I supposed to be your dealer?”

  “It’s a secret,” she whispered. I was still completely oblivious as to what I was staring at. Ryan looked at me, the baggie and then back to me.

  “Acid, babe,” Lacy explained. “I got all of us some acid.” I stared at her in complete shock. Acid? I was mortified. “Hayley wait!” She shouted. “C’mon, just try it once. I want my first trip to be with you.” I couldn’t believe she was asking me to do this with her after her last drug incident. My nose ached at the memory.

  “I’m not doing hard drugs on Christmas Eve,” I snapped. “I’d really prefer for my nose to not be broken in the morning.”

  Lacy covered her hands over her mouth. “I can’t believe you just said that to me. You forgave me, Hayley. You can’t keep throwing it in my face! Please do this with me Hayley. I’ve never asked you to do anything like this before and I want you to say yes. Please.” I looked over to Ryan for support, but he just shrugged his shoulders.

  “It could be really fun.”

  •••

  Euphoria. A sweet, beautiful blissful state of mind took over me. My blood was a river that the gods sailed down. I was floating through the sky, down the halls of my home. The Christmas music that played throughout the house was being sung by angels themselves. They linked their arms around mine and carried me above the party. Ryan and I had somehow managed to find our way into my bedroom. He was shirtless, hovering over me. I inspected myself, surprised to see I was no longer wearing pants.

  “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “We won’t go any further than this.” His lips melted like wax onto mine as I drifted further into the bed. Music was playing from his phone, but it sounded a million years away. I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture of us together. I quickly sent it to Nick and then deleted the thread. Ryan hopped off of me before handing me my pants. “I don’t want to do something you’ll regret.” Too late. His smile stretched across his cheeks, causing me to laugh hysterically. When had his mouth gotten so big?

  How long had this been going on? Surely only an hour or so. There was no way it had been longer than that. I looked around the room, surprised to find Ryan and Taylor gone. Lacy was lying on her back, wiggling her hands in front of her face. We spent another few hours, or days, or years, laughing and watching psychedelic videos. I checked my phone, discovering that it was only three in the morning.

  A few hours after we went back to bed, my mom came into my room and woke us up. Disoriented and tired, we stumbled down the stairs and sluggishly opened our presents, attempting to stay conscious long enough to see what we received. My parents had decided to celebrate the return of my license by giving me their Kia Forte.

  “Please don’t get your license taken away again,” my dad laughed. I gave them both tear-filled hugs before watching Lacy open her presents. Tears leaked down her face as she held a $500 gas card and BeautyMe gift card between her fingers. “I know how much you like makeup,” my dad told her. My heart grew warm at their inclusiveness for my best friend.

  I watched as Lacy’s fingers tore through the present I wrapped for her. The excitement that lit across her face was priceless. Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at the box romance movies I had spent hours searching for. I even found the first 10 seasons of Law and Order, SVU. When we had met our freshman year, she was sporting a notebook with Elliot Stabler’s face taped to it. That was the moment I knew we would be best friends.

  I could feel my heart grow warm as she wrapped her arms around me. It was finally my turn to open her present. My fingers shook with excitement as I ripped through the paper. The moment my eyes met the present my mouth dropped open. She had gotten me the collector’s edition of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and Candyman. I nearly tackled her as I gave her a hug.

  Thirty

  Nick

  My mother, Rachel, Ezra, and I sat around my childhood dining room table Christmas Eve. The animosity between the two women in my life was thick, filling me with unease. Their relationship had been strained since my parent’s divorce. Rachel had blamed herself for their demise.

  “What is it that you do?” My mother asked Ezra.

  He glanced at Rachel nervously before speaking. “I research cures for cancer,” he explained. “I’m also in a band, ma’am.” My mother’s eyes widened at the dreaded “C” word. Rachel shot me a worried look.

  “That’s wonderful,” she exclaimed. “When Rachel was going through—”

  Rachel quickly spoke over my mother, loudly asking, “Nick, why didn’t you invite Elana?” My mother placed her hand over her mouth, aware that she had overshared. Ezra cocked his head curiously to the side.

  “I didn’t think it would be appropriate to invite her,” I began. “We’ve only just started seeing each other.” Rachel was cognizant that I had no intention of making her friend anything more than a late-night call, though she remained relentless.

  “How is teaching going?” My mother asked me, noticing the tension. “Do you like it better at this school?” Rachel mumbled something unintelligible under her breath.

  I scratched my five o’clock shadow before I responded. “It’s decent,” I told her. “The principal informed me that they found a long-term replacement for American-History, so I’ll be able to take my position as guidance counselor.”

  “That’s very exciting, Nicholas. I’m sure you’re ready to try something new.” Rachel rolled her eyes as she picked at her plate. “Rachel, have you given anymore thought about applying your degree? Twenty-three is young, you should be putting yourself out there.” An exasperated sigh came from the other side of the table.

  “It’s winter and I have a degree in Horticultural Science, Mother.” Images of Hayley and I at the Botanical Garden flashed through my mind. “I don’t think too many people give a fuck about plants right now.”

  “Rachel Irene!” My mother gasped. “Watch your language. It was a simple question.” Rachel threw her fork against the table.

  “Why can’t everyone just chill out about what I’m doing with my life?” She shouted. “Maybe you should direct your questions to Nick, Mother. His life is way more—”

  “I’ll go grab dessert,” Ezra interrupted. “Ms. Foster, would you care to accompany me. I’m not quite sure where everything is located.” She reluctantly led him into the kitchen.

  “I understand you’re feeling defensive, but do not bring Hayley into this.” I warned. “And why haven’t you told Ezra about…” I trailed off. Rachel tugged at her ear, a nervous habit she’d had since childhood. “He’s going to find out sooner or later.”

  “Why haven’t you told Elana you’re in love with your eighteen-year-old student? You do realize that sleeping with her and Anvi is probably giving her mixed signals.” She shot back. “She’s going to find out sooner or later.” I let out an incredulous laugh before excusing myself from the table.

  I found a pair of headphones comfortably placed between a Playboy magazine. It appeared my mother had yet to clear out my childhood bedroom. I scrolled through the playlist Hayley had made me months ago. I smiled as I saw dozens of Taylor Swift songs fill my screen. That girl loved Taylor Swift. I clicked shuffle, surprised when a slow Godsmack song reached my ears.

  Do we
make sense? I think we do.

  Chills spread through my body at the opening line. Removing Hayley from my mind was impossible. As if the universe weren’t punishing me already, an incoming text flashed onto my screen.

  And everything feels broken when you’re not next to me.

  Hayley and Ryan’s faces covered my phone as the song continued in my ears.

  Underneath the picture, Hayley had written, Hope Elana can taste me when she kisses you. Merry fucking Christmas.

  •••

  “Can’t you two spend one more day with me?” My mother asked as I carried Rachel and my bags to my car. “You work too much. Why don’t you quit the movie store?” My mother had been asking me the same question for nearly five years now. “It’s New Years Eve, guys. Stay for the party me and the gals are throwing.”

  “I gave everyone tonight off,” I told her. “And I stay because I like movies, Mama.”

  Rachel appeared from the front door, slamming the door behind her. “Is that the only reason, Nick?” I scoffed as I closed the trunk lid. “I’ll come visit soon, Mama.” Rachel gave me mother a kiss on the cheek before opening the passenger door to my SUV. I wrapped my arms around my mother, planting a kiss on her forehead.

  “I’ll see you soon,” I promised. Tears glistened in her eyes as we pulled out of the driveway. We were five miles out when I averted my attention towards Rachel. “Did you tell Ezra?”

  “Did you tell Elana?”

  I shook my head back and forth, amazed at my sister’s ability to deflect. “I told her that I had feelings for someone else.” Rachel’s eyes widened with surprise. “She didn’t seem very surprised.”

  “Damnit, Nick,” she sighed. A Taylor Swift song filled the silence. “Please tell me this isn’t who I think it is.”